grace

你要我闭上眼睛想象
在我看不见的一个远方

How apt! It's September. =)

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

OMFG science library is freaking swarming zz. I suppose it beats closing on us during exam time. And it IS exam time, but what's new eh HAhAH. Miss med library. =p

Ok, so I finally got down to fixing my keyboard, (which explains the hiatus) and I have since finished Emed AND psychiatry and am doing O&G now! Procrastinators: Leaders of tomorrow -sage- I guess med isn't all that bad after all, especially after having seen lives saved/lost at Emed and lives born/terminated at O&G. Psych was just... weird, literally. I recall at the first tutorial when we were taught that it was important to know the religion of the patient to assess suicide ideation and social support, and I asked if religious people were more prone to delusions, and everyone was like woah touchy. I mean I thought it could go either way, since if their pre-morbid personality was already such that they believe in things they can't sense, they might be more prone to delusions, but then again they might attribute delusions or hallucinations to spiritual events and hence not regard them as psychotic episodes, so I thought it was a perfectly legitimate intellectual inquiry. Or things like aversion therapy for a homosexual who wishes to seek treatment to become heterosexual, which basically goes along the lines of telling say a guy that when he is fantasizing about another male to suddenly imagine a policeman bursting in to arrest them or something. And I was wondering what to do for a heterosexual who wishes to become homosexual, whereupon the reason 'never happens' was promptly accepted by everyone. Or even discussion of cases like how a wife was really averse to touching a penis, and therefore the couple had problems consummating their marriage, and how do you counsel them and I was just thinking, isn't that a matter of preference? Like who defines normality anyway, what if one partner likes BDSM and the other doesn't, how are you supposed to counsel them then? It's just a really really strange discipline that I still can't quite fathom. And IMH is really pretty for a jail! Thoughtful to create such a pleasant place to live in when people there are already living in their own world anyway methinks. =)

Anyway psych's over! And I'm just really happy that I've finished my quota of deliveries!! =D Strangely enough, I learnt more about males through O&G than I thought I would, which is Good Guys are really good, and Sucky Guys really suck, and The Importance of finding a Good Guy. -sage- Sounds real simple, but I mean seriously a husband who just take photos of the entire process while his wife is screaming in pain!?!? Like what?!?!? I don't even know what to say about that. O_o

In any case, I find the hardest part about O&G is really all the ethical issues like abortion, sterilisation, infertility and all. It's like we had this question on this mother who brought her 15 year old retarded daughter in, saying she cant handle female hygiene and is afraid that her daughter would be raped, so which of the following modes of sterilisation is the most appropriate? And I was just O_o shouldn't the question be whether or not the mother should be allowed to do that in the first place? But of course since we're in charge of medical stuff we will discuss permanent vs non-permanent modes of sterilisation, hormonal control to prevent menstruation etc instead, and let I dunno, the law or philo people deal with the ethics. O_o Who deals with it anyway? We just learn what's legal, but legality was never morality. The general stance though is if it's against your morals, just refer the patient to a colleague who'll do it. O_o Like abortions, which has been debated so many times I haven't anything new to add. I was just surprised at clinic the other day that there are still people in Singapore who would abort a girl just cos she isn't a boy. Then again there are people on the other end of the spectrum, especially older mums with complicated pregnancies conceived through IVF, previous miscarriages, babies tested to have high risk of Down's syndrome and maybe even identified deformities etc, and they'll still risk their lives to keep the baby despite poor fetal viability and against medical advice. My mum says I'll understand when I become a mum, but MBBS is in 2 years man, and I doubt I'll be a mum by then. =/ Need answers now! HAhHa!! =x Oh well. I think it's kinda scary that pregnancy either ends in abortion, childbirth or caesareans, all equally horrifying and morbid and man I think I'd just totally hate the guy who gets me pregnant! O_o I'm in awe of my mum. (Y)

Oh well. Last day at KK tomorrow =(=( I shall be upset to leave =( but not as upset as I am to be somewhere else. =(=(=(=( No more Macs breakfast every morning hAhHA!!!

Aaaanyway! On another note, watched Harry Potter today, what a waste of time and money. =p Spent the entire show waiting and waiting for something to happen, but nothing happened, and then it ended. O_o I thought it was such a flop compared to the first movie, where everything ordinary was magical, but this time everything magical was ordinary. .. I mean the magic cupboard thing that was supposed to be really significant cos they kept showing it, it doesn't talk or fly or do anything! What a ripoff!! If I wanted to watch real life I wouldn't go to a theatre zz.

Ok sleeps! =)

Was trying to figure out suicide assessment, and realised that the first 10 websites listed on Google search for 'i feel like dying' are all on Lil Wayne's song. Googling 'i REALLY feel like dying' isn't all that better, but at least we've got 2 out of 10 sites on something else. Just thought that's kinda sad, but couldn't be bothered with any other permutations. I mean if I were really suicidal I wouldn't bother either no? Oh well.

Anyway! Having much fun at A&E! =)=) Brought my scrubs, change of clothes, towels, toiletries, biscuits and muesli bars, and a yoga mat even to stash in my locker so that I can practically live there. -sage- And ambulance run was really fun! =D Set up an IV line for this guy who was fitting in the ambulance which was jerking like mad and was sitting at the wrong angle to boot so had to stick the needle in upside down, but good thing it went in anyway! Lucky he had juicy veins. Got to stitch up some guy who had a laceration on his face too, think my stitching is pretty! =)

The heart is a hollow, conical, muscular organ situated obliquely in the thoracic cavity between the lungs and behind the sternum (breastbone).

The Diary
Neil Sedaka

How I'd like to look into that little book
The one that has the lock and key
And know the boy that you care for
The boy who's in your diary

When it's late at night what is the name you write?
Oh, what I'd give if I could see
Am I the boy that you care for?
The boy who's in your diary

Do you recall and make note of all
The little things I say and do?
The name you underline, I'm hoping that it's mine
Darling, I'm so in love with you-oo

Please don't leave me blue, make all my dreams come true
You know how much you mean to me
Say I'm the boy that you care for
The boy who's in your di-a-ry

至少还有你
林忆莲

我怕来不及我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹
有了岁月的痕迹
直到肯定你是真的
直到失去力气
为了你我愿意

动也不能动也要看着你
直到感觉你的发线
有了白雪的痕迹
直到视线变得模糊
直到不能呼吸
让我们形影不离

如果全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你值得我去珍惜
而你在这里
就是生命的奇迹
也许全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意失去你的消息
你掌心的痣
我总记得在那里

我们好不容易
我们身不由己
我怕时间太快
不够将你看仔细
我怕时间太慢
日夜担心失去你
恨不得一夜之间白头
永不分离

So I was on the bus again the other day, and I was thinking to myself yet again, suppose I had to choose a superhero/cartoon/comic or another fictional character really, like superman, batman etcetc to marry, who would I pick? I thought about it and I decided I'd pick Xiao Ding Dang! He could give me anything I want from his magic pocket! hAhHAh!! I think 'Let me be your Xiao Ding Dang' must be the most romantic proposal ever.

Wow, I never knew 'Happy Birthday' was in 4/4 time. Beatles sang it in 4/4, and so did Marilyn Monroe.

Anyway, I was just thinking this morning on the bus, which is where I get most of my thinking done (instead of in the exam halls unfortunately =p), if a planet consists of 50% water and 50% land, with only 1 ocean and 1 continent, what shape would it take?

If it were half sea, half land, would it be physically probable? I'm imagining a ball cut in half, with half made of soil and half made of water. I expect it would take on a spherical shape, since all our planets are spheres. And after all if the land were a hemispherical shape, and the gravity acting on all parts of the water were equal the water would form a hemisphere too?

I suppose it is unlikely that such a planet would form via natural processes, but assuming some being were to create it would it be viable left to existing laws of physics?

For simplicity we could assume this planet doesn't have satellites or other planets sharing its star. What other factors might we need to consider and would they affect the shape very much? How significant would centripetal force be?

Sometimes I wished I'd taken 'A' level physics instead of music. =p hAHhAhA!!!

Happy CNY!!! =) And check out this song I'm listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXxxWJ-yDfM and listen to the end! Good things come to those who wait =D HAhAH I don't make recommendations much but it would be selfish not to share this methinks.

I always seem to blog during exam time, and yes we're still having exams til sat =( but then we get X'mas week off! =D And lectures start again 29 Dec. Sad innit.

Anyway for some reason I was thinking about my apartment in HK again and decided to see if it has a website, and it does! The website is really crappy though, doesn't do justice to my memory of the place. Oh well.

There's a horrible phantom mosquito around biting me!!!!! alkrhglakerughlaerugha I've got like 10 bites in the last hour and I can't see any mosquito!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(=(=(=(

If what you want is what god wants, and you don't know what god wants, how do you know what you want?

Didn't realise my FTT was expiring so hurriedly tried to book a driving test date today. Because SSDC's server was down or something everybody had to go down to make bookings at the counter and so ended up queuing for HOURS zz. Reached there before 1pm and by the time I got everything settled it was past 630pm zz. So couldn't make it back to CHANGI for night call so shall have to find another day sigh. And there's still CAs and writeup! =( AND the only date available before FTT expires is the day before ortho EOPT. .. Oh wells! At least I managed to read some notes and write a song on rearview mirrors while camping. ..

Then because I missed a step while cutting through a coffeeshop I now have a sprained ankle! =( But nothing too serious I suppose, ortho really puts things into perspective hAHa. Anyway was also thinking I wanted to sign up for riding license too but after seeing all the motorcycle accident people probably gotta think about it alot more hrms.

On the bright side bumped into my counsellor at KK Macs this morning! =D I'm glad I'm not posted to KK at the moment though there's no food there. =p

Just found out 3 days ago that Zhang Hui Mei and Amei are the same person, and twas my MUM who told me to boot. CG says they should take my mum out for Kbox instead. =p Learning alot though!

Managed to check out SAM today! Will post pictures soon HAhHA was only gonna make a quick browse but stayed til closing in the end! And still didn't finish checking out all the exhibits! OK partly because the Korean Art section was having some opening ceremony so there was free dinner so we went to eat! Free Korean cuisine served on porcelain plates with free flow of red wine lar, HAhHA we were super underdressed had to hide behind the bushes.

Have some wound on my left hand which I kept forgetting about today so kept rubbing hand rub on it totally ouch!! =(=(

All these standing and walking around is killing my feet. =(

Slack day today! Lectures got cancelled last minute so went to check out NUS Museums, there are some pretty cool stuff there on the top floor! Shall check out SAM tomorrow, but haven't really heard much about biennale this year though, no idea where everything is oh well. Then anyway went shopping, then went home to mug awhile, then caught a nap, then went to run, then watched TV, and now here I am talking to good friends and listening to uh. Arranged sounds! =)

OK so today was actually kinda boring. Still! Rare day man HAhHAhA OK back to hell.

Mum just bought new shower foam labelled anti-bacterial, which smells suspiciously like detergent and feels like it should have been labelled anti-skin instead. ..

Visited the spastic kids school today, no idea why people think it's a sad place. I think it's a really happy place! It's painted with real bright colours everywhere, and people don't actually have much expectations for the kids there, so every single achievement or progress is a joy no? Still, I wonder what I'd do with a kid with cerebral palsy. Then again, I wonder what I'd do with a kid. O_o

It's been rumbling for over an hour, though there's still no sign of rain. =p If even the gods waver, surely I can't be faulted for vacillating! HAhHAh =x Aiyar I'll just run tomorrow.

I never thought being with someone could feel lonelier than being alone. How strange!

Anyway ortho is crazy, but I suppose it's been the best posting thus far. The sickest shit come in, what with people putting their hands in potato grinders or falling off flyovers and stuff, and it's only been a week.

Could use a good break, it's terrible having two xiong postings back to back. =( Oh well I suppose running on adrenaline works just as fine, beggars can't be choosers.

Posted to CGH for 2 big postings running?!?!?!? It's not even about the location anymore. .....

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
- Voltaire

I think increasingly, medicine's making me a little less tolerant, a little less sympathetic, a little more selfish, a little more sadistic. I'm glad I'm not alone!

I've no idea why sometimes I use punctuation and sometimes I don't. O_o